throwback: birds on a wire

Sometimes I think about things. I know, you’re shocked, but occasionally a thought or two will run through my head before it starts to hurt, and I have to go turn on the TV until the ache stops.

Anyway, like I was saying, sometimes I think about things, and what I’ve been thinking about lately is birds. I keep seeing them all lined up together on telephone wire or traffic light wire, etc. when I’m driving around and notice how they flutter from one part of the wire to another and it makes me wonder: What makes a bird leave a wire?

I mean, I know that when there’s a loud noise or a vibration, they’ll move. Birds are jumpy like that (and like me). But I mean when there seems to be no noticeable reason for them to move, why do they fly around?

When I was younger, I figured it was because they were getting shocked. My mom always told me not to touch those wires that came off the poles and ran into the ground, so I thought that those birds weren’t lucky enough to have moms to tell them what was up. Hence, when they fluttered onto the electrical wires, their little birdy feet would get a jolt and they would fly away. Naturally, being bird-brained as they are (bu-dump-bum) they would just go and land on another part of the wire,too stupid to realize they would once again get shocked.

ON THE OTHER HAND...
I have since touched those wires that my mother warned me against and suffered no ill effects so I have to wonder — what is making these birds fl y away?
I have another possible explanation: cattiness. I know that it’s hard to wrap your mind around the ideaof a bird being catty, but bear with me. Maybe all birds are just so rude to each other they’re constantly breaking out in fi ghts and have to fl y to another part of the wire to get away from each other. I picture it going something like this:

Bird 2 lands on wire
Bird 1: Hey Bob.
Bird 2: Hey Larry.
Bird 1: What’s up?
Bird 2: Not much. My left talon has been hurting
me lately.
Bird 1: Oh yeah? Well your beak is killing me!
Hahaha!
Bird 2 flies away in a huff

This scenario could inevitably repeat itself hundred of times over causing different birds to fly to different parts of the wire and continue the vicious cycle. Clearly, this is exactly what happens, and as I’ve been thinking about it all day, my head has begun to hurt. I think I’ll head on over to the TV now.